Dear Brynn Hallsted,
No no no no no no no why does it have to be like this? I didn't get to see you go to Utica! You were the first person who had ever invited me to a mission opening that I actually attended, and even though I'm not Mormon, I wanted to see you off. And I at least wanted to spend some more jam sessions with you and hear you sing "God Help The Outcasts". Hopefully God helps me right now. Brynn, from the moment we mutually decided to be friends, I didn't want either of us to leave. The funny thing was I thought you would be the one to leave. For a year and a half. Now I'm leaving forever and I just... I don't want to accept that. You always brightened my day and you were one of the only people that I encountered in my life that didn't give me a weird look when I cried in a movie like "Tarzan" Which, actually, you have no idea how much that day meant to me because I don't know if you do, but I hold that day so near to my heart and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The only regret I have is that I will miss you a lot more than I think I should. We spent such little time together and I wish it wasn't that way. Life is short. But I know you know that and I know you will make the most of your life. That's just who you are. And that's why I love you so much.
Love,
-Ardon
Dear Haley Hallsted,
You're such a beautiful person. And you make life beautiful for people around you. Pretty soon I won't have a life that will be graced with your beauty. I won't have a life to be made beautiful anymore. But I don't want you to lose that. I didn't think you would, but I'm just making sure. Your laugh honestly makes my life so much better and I wish you were around me always. You made my life so much better and I hope I did the same for you. I'm so sorry that we'll never get to sing on stage together because that was the part of the Disney Concert that I was looking forward to so much. Because you're a great friend and what performer doesn't want to sing on stage with a great friend? I'm sorry that I didn't come to all the things you invited me to, even though all I wanted was for people to invite me to things. And you were the person that knew me so well and you knew that I would appreciate it. And I did, but... I didn't. That's my regret with you. I didn't appreciate our friendship enough and that is something that I wish was different. I guess there's nothing we can do about it now. All I can do is tell you that I love you and I will miss you so much. I don't want to go and I hope you won't be too sad when I'm gone. The only thing I can think of to say is I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I just want you to he happy. If you can do that, I'll feel better about my life. The life that I had. I love you. Thank you.
Love,
-Ardon
Dear Ardon,
ReplyDeleteI think one of the reasons that everybody (and I mean EVERYBODY) loves you is because of this. Even on your death bed you're thinking about everybody else. You're wanting everyone to know how much you love them even though you'd be gone from the world before you'd even get a thank you. I love this about you. I love you.
So this is me saying thank you. For these words, for saying I'll always make something of my life, and for not really dying. The world needs Ardon Smith and I hope you realize that every day.
If you ever forget, just ask me :)
Love you,
Brynn