Real

Once upon a time I fell in love with a girl.

(I promise this isn't a love story)

But I did. I fell in love with a girl. LOVE PEOPLE. I FELT LOVE. I know I'm only 17 and I know I'm young but I LOVED this girl so much. I felt like I was going insane and thought the butterflies in my stomach would one day just fly out because there were too many of them! I began to start thinking "I need to get this girl to like me back!"

My mom always told me I could talk to her about anything and that she would always be there for me. So I decided to talk to her about my new-found love. I'll cut all the fluff and cut to the chase. My mother told me that I wasn't in love. Just shot me down and said that I couldn't be in love. I was way too young to comprehend that. "Love is blind honey. Your love isn't real." 

I'm sorry, let me say that again. My mother had just told me that my love wasn't REAL. As if I was incapable to feel such feelings because of course, I couldn't. I was just too young. 

Then I proceeded to have a SERIES of adults tell me that I was incapable of love because love didn't exist in teenagers. Every counselor, teacher, parent, aunt, uncle, adult friend, and even people I didn't know told me that there was no way I was in love.

Once upon a time I was depressed. 

(I promise that this isn't a depression story)

But I was. I was clinically depressed. I know. Mainstream. But I FELT DEPRESSION. What else was I supposed to do? 

Now, I'm not saying I'm so popular, but I had a very considerable amount of friends who I cared about dearly and who I considered to be my "Best Friends." Once I had started to feel this depression, what did I do? I naturally turned to friends because I didn't want to be depressed, if that seemed to be the case. 

Unfortunately, I had two people; Not one, not three, but TWO people tell me that one of my "Best Friends" had said that my depression wasn't REAL. They said that I was pretending to be depressed because I wanted to fit in, because being depressed was "Cool" 

I'm sorry, I'll just say it one more time. One of my BEST FRIENDS who I had held so near and dear to my heart and who I cared for more than most other people on this earth had said that my depression was fake. Not REAL. Of course it wasn't depression. I can't think for myself. 

I remember when I told my parents I might be depressed. They simply said "No you're not. You're not depressed." They basically told me that my feelings weren't REAL. My parents and best friend didn't believe me. 

Look, I don't want to write a post where you say "Wow you have a bad mom." or "Wow your 'best friend' sucks." NO. I don't want that. I want to bring to your attention something that is sweeping the nation, and has swept my life. 

ALL TEENAGERS ARE THE SAME. 

I think it's amazing how all the adults and public figures tell us to break social norms and you don't have to "fit in"! Just be yourself! Yet, when teenagers do these things, they're viewed as abnormal or "deranged". 

All teenagers are the same, so apparently we all can't feel real things. 

I don't know what's more real, a teenager who "thinks" they're in love, or a teenager who feels compelled to take his own life. When someone is holding a razor to their arms and all they can say "Just do it!" 

That's real.

It's just amazing how nothing is real until something like this happens. And then people say "Why didn't we see it sooner? What could we have done?"

Listen.

Be there.

Be real.