Does It Matter?

I hear from my friends all the time that they're afraid of the future. They're afraid of what college they're going to go to, they're afraid of moving out, they're afraid of ending up like their parents, they're afraid of getting marred, and blah blah blah all that stuff.

Don't get me wrong, I'm terrified of that too. But rather than the near future, I'm more afraid of the far away future. Which when you think of the grand scheme of things, is the near future.

I'm most afraid of that one day, I'm going to be sitting at Einstein's Bagels, chowing down on my favorite original bagel with regular cream cheese spread and thinking "What did I do with my life?" 

When my gray hairs start to wither and my skin loses it's youth, what will I be doing? Will I have a wife? Kids? Grand kids? Will I have a disease I can't help? Cancer? Will all my loved ones around me start to die? My best friends? My parents? 

I'm in high school, and all that people seem to say is "In ten years, this won't matter." Well what about 20, 30, 40 years? If none of this matters, does ANYTHING matter anymore? I'm not so sure.

I just don't want my life to waste away. I want it to matter.