Stream of Consciousness

Well, I hope you're ready for this. This stream of consciousness is for the brave only. Cause it's super long.

I wish I meant as much to someone as he does to her.

I wish I meant as much to someone as she does to him.

I wish I meant something.

Sometimes you just need a hug.

Sometimes you're alone for too long on a Saturday and you just wonder "What the hell am I doing?"

And then you say "Nothing"

Then you proceed to drown yourself in goldfish, YouTube and Netflix and it kind of stops... But it doesn't.

That feeling that the reason nobody texts you is because nobody likes you.

The reason nobody stays on the phone with you until 1 in the morning is because it doesn't actually matter how you feel.

The reason your family didn't take you shopping is because they don't like you.

The reason that it was absolutely silent at Thanksgiving is because your family is broken anyway.

The reason you sit there and say "Why don't girls think I'm attractive" and you know it's because of the damn goldfish, YouTube and Netflix.

People say you're wrong.

They say you're too harsh on yourself.

They say "Hey get over it."

They say "I'm here for you."

Or maybe they just don't say anything at all.

Well, here we are, and it is yet another day where I write a blog post that shows all my feelings.

Then my friends will read it, and they won't bring it up because it's weird to see an 18 year old walking down the hall and knowing that he isn't happy, so they just don't say anything.

"I want a person that's like this"

"How about me?"

"We're just too good of friends"

(Too damn relatable)

Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot. When people actually say that, they mean they want the PERSON THEY ALREADY LIKE TO BE LIKE THAT. Because too many people are too shallow to not like the person that everyone likes.

#HighSchool

Current status: 4 Ebolas. 

Not as bad as I was when I was first asked that question, but 4 Ebolas is too damn much. 

I am Ebola.

Here's the thing, I love all of you, but I also hate all of you. 

The funny thing is, is that you'll read that sentence, and the only part of that sentence that actually meant anything to you was the hate part. WTF. Look at the bright side.

I guess I'm one to talk.

So many beautiful people in the world wasting their time being the opposite.

Stop being a shitty person. 

I need to stop being a shitty person.

I apologize for being a shitty person.

We all need to. 

Hormones suck.

I really thought everything, at least from my point of view, would change when I turned 18. Well, life likes to bite us in the ass with "PSYCH"

Life's a bitch.

Recording music is fun.

"The Prince of Egypt" is so good.

This blog post is the opposite.

If you have literally made it this far, I take back everything I said about people being shallow and shitty.

Well, what I mean is, you're not shallow and shitty.

I love you.

I really do.

Love is so damn beautiful.

The end of "How I Met Your Mother" pissed me off.

But I love love so much.

Sincerely,

The boy who has absolutely no idea why this is on his blog.