Crystal Clear

I remember the days when I reached out to you with my hand and then your fingers would intertwine with mine, and I remember thinking "Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe I can be happy."

I remember the first day I saw you and I thought "Wow, she's one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen." I remember saying to myself "No way, not in a million years." Then in a matter of days I was saying "Has it been a million years already?" 

I remember all the walks we took in the park because that was kind of our thing. I remember small kisses on the cheek.

I remember sitting on the computer with an empty blog post in front of me and filling it with feelings and expressions because you made me. Not directly of course, but you caused all of it.

I remember the day you said "I miss you," and I said to myself "Is this real life?"

I remember the day on the subway I wrote you that letter. 

I remember the days and weeks where I tried. I really did. I'm not mad but sad. I'm sad that it fell off. 

I remember you asking me "Where did you go?" And the only thought that was present in my mind was "This is all my fault and I miss you."

I remember wanting to talk but you were too busy.

I remember working up the courage to write this post.

I still remember all the feelings and memories you gave me.

I remember wanting it back.

I still do.