I'm Turning 20 Years Old

I'm turning twenty years old.
No more teens, tweens, or in-betweens.
No more feelings or themes of inadequacy
Finally a gleam of my dreams and things
I think that I deserve becoming a reality.

19 is fine, 21 is cool, but two decades?
Holy shit, am I right?

I can't cry, or lie, or fight, or light a bag
Of shit on fire and chalk it up to "hormones"
As a result. I am now an adult.

I've been able to go to prison for two years,
But at least now it'll make sense.
And now I represent a whole new demographic
Of people who are presented with obstacles
And I'm pretty sure we can't eat popsicles
In public anymore because we're twenty years old.

Popsicles are cold. So is the world.

Now I have to be bold.
I have to probably get a job that turns me into someone I'm not
Because someone told me to fold instead of going all-in.
And people tell me "Don't withhold who you are."
When before I was told to behold the very opposite.

I practiced it. Being someone else.
Now it's hard to be myself.

I put myself on the shelf
I was made selfish instead of selfless
Nobody could care less if I was made less
I've been conditioned to impress instead of express
It's been impressed in my mind.
I've been told to respect authority as opposed to self-defense,
Respect others, expect nothing in return
Only return into what the world had made you.

Defenseless.

Is this an exaggeration? Maybe.
But maybe not.

There's nothing else to be taught, and someday
My body will just rot away.
Another product of what we are today.

I'm turning twenty years old.

"Be bolder. You're older.
Become a mold of what we told you.
Control yourself. Don't boil over."

I am twenty years older.